Not long ago, a woman shared with me how heartbreaking it is that her husband wouldn’t attend church with her. While it’s true that there are some men trying to encourage their wives to get involved, far more often, it’s the husbands who refuse to participate.
Have you noticed that there are generally more women than men involved in today’s churches? While we understand that men and women are both important, this growing trend is unhealthy, destructive, and counterproductive. In David Murrow’s insightful book, Why Men Hate Going to Church, he explores the many reasons why the modern church system is perfectly designed to produce exactly the results that we’re getting. This book isn’t about what men should do, but about what they actually do.
If you ask a typical guy why he’s not going to church, he’ll tell you: it’s boring, irrelevant, and full of hypocrites. Regardless of how much we would push back on these statements, perception is reality. Men are wired differently than women. Generally, while women want deeper relationships, security, and sharing; men crave challenge, adventure, and risk. That’s just the kind of life that Jesus called his disciples to. Men are looking for real action, not just words.
Today’s church can and should speak to both of these sets of values. Churches are the perfect place to challenge people to step out in faith to live great lives of risk and action. Murrow not only gives the basis for how to connect with men in greater numbers, but offers a lot of practical ideas on ways to make it happen. It doesn’t take a major overhaul in most cases, just an awareness of why we’re doing what we’re doing.
One example of this is the crisis of father today in our culture. The absence of men in families is an opportunity for the church to step up and grow strong, godly men who will mentor others. Some men are ready for the challenge of stepping into that role and can develop through experiential discipleship and leadership training. Along the way, every man needs a “band of brothers” who are accomplishing something great together.
Why Men Hate Going to Church is full of remarkable information that every pastor and leader should digest and put into practice. As we intentionally engage men in our churches, they will be stronger and so will the church. I’m looking forward to discussing this book with a group of men soon using the free discussion guide found here.
In light of this book, I’m so proud of the many men at The Connection Church who are making a difference through their leadership. Men like Trey, Rod, Terry, Dario, Raul, and Douglas lead out in KonnectionKids. Men like Bobby, Rene, Matt, Rico, Josh, Robby, Walter and Mike are leading in Fuze Student Ministries. Men like these are preparing the way for the next generation. Our Men of Steel are a living example of servant leaders in our church and the community around us. It’s clear that men can and will engage when they are challenged to step up and pursue lives of purpose!
This book was provided to me by BookLook Bloggers, but my opinion is based on my own readings and thoughts.