This week, the message will be about how to respond if you’re married to a vampire. Of course, we’re talking about an emotional or spiritual vampire who drains you of your joy and energy. But it got me thinking about how you would know if you’re married to an actual vampire. You know, the kind who sleep in coffins and wear capes. Well, in the spirit of Jeff “Vlad” Foxworthy, here are the top ten signs you can look for to know if your spouse is a vampire:
- They prefer working the nightshift.
- They’re constantly breaking the mirrors in your house.
- Their best friend’s name is Igor.
- You don’t remember the last time they took you out to Olive Garden.
- When the doctor asked about their blood type, they said they had no preference.
- When you went to see the bats at Congress Bridge, your spouse called them by their first name.
- Their dentist keeps losing fingers.
- You keep getting older, they stay the same age.
- They critique the Twilight movies for accuracy.
- They try to style your kids hair with a widow’s peak like Eddie Munster.
So there you have it. If you want to know how to deal with this and more, I’ll see you on Sunday at 9am, 10:30am or Noon! Be sure to comment below if you have any other signs.