Day 3

Read:

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Dig Deeper:

Ever seen a bunch of people post pictures on their Snap or IG Story, and they’re all hanging out…without you. Must be nice for them, right? Let’s face it, we’ve all been there. When we feel left out, misunderstood, or burned by people, it can tend to reinforce our inner Lone Ranger. The pain that is experienced when we are hurt by other people is real; however, this “friendship is for the weak” mentality can often get us into more trouble than we first expect. Our scripture for today actually says: “pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” When we’re doing life alone, we’ll have no one to help us when life inevitably knocks us down, and let’s face it, it will knock us down at some point.

So, we’ve got to find a way to cross the Rubicon of Relationships, but the good news is that it can take as little as two steps to make it from lonely to friendly. These two steps aren’t easy, but they are important.

Step 1 is to forgive your past hurts. As a form of protection, we often form patterns of belief in our lives based on what we’ve experienced. For instance, if it rains and I’m outside, I’ll get wet, therefore, I’ll stay inside and remain dry. It makes sense, but is it always helpful? Here’s one that might hit home when it comes to friendship. Because I’ve been hurt in the past by a close friend, I will no longer be vulnerable with people, and I will not be hurt in that way anymore. The fact is though, these one-for-one patterns in relationships rarely happen in the exact same way because we’re never dealing with the exact same people…well, except for ourselves that is. Unfortunately developing patterns of protection in our relationships where we begin to wall ourselves off from experiencing any forms of meaningful connection can hurt us more than it will help us because we remove the opportunity to discover more about how we can personally learn, grow, and develop new habits. Instead, we’ve got to go back to those moments and tell ourselves a new story–a more truth-filled and Christ-filled story. Try flipping your script. Find ways to have compassion on yourself and whoever else was involved. And ultimately, we forgive because Christ forgave us (even when we didn’t deserve it, by the way). And it may be a process more than a single moment of forgiveness, but don’t worry, it is for most of us.

Step 2 is to surrender your pride. Like Mom always said, “It takes a friend to have a friend.” How often are you the first to reach out to someone? How often are you the first to plan that movie night, or that dinner, or start up the deep conversation? It’s okay for you to make the first move. Somebody has to, so why not you?

When you decide to put feet to this whole friendship thing, God can begin to move in your relationships like never before. A wise counselor once said, “Hurt in relationships; healed in relationships.” So, step out in prayerful faith and let the healing begin!

Declaration: Say this next statement out loud as a declaration of what you have learned today.

God has made me a relational being. I can forgive what has happened in the past, and I can be the first to make new friends.

Pray:

God, give me courage as I take steps to forgive and to make friends. I know that no one is perfect, but sometimes that makes me feel shy or afraid. Help me to forgive quickly and act wisely as I make friends. And, reveal to me the people that I should be spending time with. Amen.